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Chunk of the day: go through a rough patch
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Chunk of the day: go through a rough patch
According to some recent research I read, the number of divorces in the UK last year was highest among men and women aged 40 to 44. I mention this because this afternoon, I had one of those depressing kinds of conversations that I seem to be having more often as I get older! I was chatting to an old friend via Skype and asked how things were at home. “Not great, ” he admitted, “we’re going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment, if I’m honest. ” This is one of those strange semi-fixed expressions in English that can be said in four or five different ways, all of which mean basically the same thing, so if you hear someone say they’re going through a rough / rocky / bad / sticky / difficult patch at the moment, you can be sure that they’re experiencing a lot of problems and almost certainly having relationship problems.
Couples who are going through a rough patch may find they’ve been at each other’s throats a lot recently – they’ve been arguing in an angry way a lot. They may find that they’ve started to drift apart. They can remember how close they used to be in the early days of their relationship, but now feel they’re moving in different circles and that their lives are taking them in different directions.
Sometimes one partner in the relationship may find out that the other one has been cheating on them; they’ve been seeing someone else behind their back. They may feel that this is the last straw – that enough is enough – and decide to call it a day and end the relationship. Alternatively, they may try a trial separation – one of them may move out and they each try and live on their own for a while, to see how that feels. They may then decide to give it another go and get back together again – or they might feel that they like their newfound freedom and would rather go it alone from now on.
It can be hard to know what to say when friends tell you things like this, of course. I asked what the problem was, listened carefully when my friend mentioned they’d decided to try relationship counselling and that they were determined to make a go of it. I then said I really hoped that things would work out OK and said to keep in touch. What else can you do?
- Do you know any couples that have been going through a rough patch recently? Do you know why?
- Is the divorce rate high or low in your country? Why?
- What do you think the main reasons are for relationships ending?
Chunk of the day: Needs must
After class yesterday, I popped out to grab a bite to eat from one of the little café s near where I live. As I was walking back, I bumped into an old friend of mine who I hadn’t seen for ages. We got talking and she told me that after ten years here in London she was planning to move back to Spain – she’s originally from Madrid. Now, I know that Carmen has spent years working in the botany department of the Natural History Museum here, and as it’s quite a niche job, I asked if she would be able to find something similar back home.
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She’d applied to a few places, she told me, but as a precaution she’d also recently done a CELTA – an initial teaching qualification – so that she could try to find work as an English language teacher somewhere if she had to. She speaks amazing English, I hasten to add! I laughed and said that if I can teach, then anyone can (English humour alert! ). She then added that as she’s a single parent with two little ones to support, she was basically willing to do whatever job she could get – even cabbing – driving a taxi cab. “Needs must” she explained. (I told you she spoke incredible English! )
We often use needs must to explain why we’re doing something and to show it’s not because we really want to, but because we don’t feel we have much choice about the matter, so I might explain that I’d much rather not have to get up at the crack of dawn on Saturday, but because my flight to Berlin is at 7am, needs must! In other words, I don’t want to, but I know I have to. Here are some other examples:
I hate reading on the bus. It makes me feel sick. But I have so much to get through that needs must.
I started cooking quite late in life and my motivation for learning was really on a more needs-must basis.
I’ll admit that we didn’t play attractive football, but hey – against a bigger, better club, needs must!
Nobody likes going out when it’s freezing cold outside, but if you’re serious about running, needs must.
JOGGER IN GREEN PARK
Interestingly, the phrase goes back hundreds of years, but in the old days, people often used a longer version, needs must when the devil drives. This has fallen from favour and only the short form is generally heard these days, yet another example of the way in which many English words with religious roots no longer have the power they once had.
Check out our next batch of online courses here.
- Can you think of things you’d much rather not have to do, but hey – needs must?
- When did you last bump into an old friend you’d not seen for ages? What did you talk about?
- Can you think of any other niche jobs?
- Are there any jobs you’re simply not willing to do? Why?
- Can you think of any other things that have fallen from favour over the years?
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