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Summer, 1971: Strategic retreat
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Two things happened which set the tone for the summer.
One was that, during the late spring, a number of new people joined Changes who had considerable enthusiasm and energy. Apparently, our shaky condition did not daunt them, and they were very open about taking on responsibility for Changes work. People agreed to go to meetings, do publicity, etc. It seemed as if the process was reincarnation rather than death.
The second event was that in my anxiety, focusing more on the negative rather than positive events, I jumped in as a Changes leader. I had a vested interest in keeping us afloat and, though I didn't have the time {I was in the last quarter of my internship), I nudged us along.
It was the most expedient approach. In retrospect, I think we would have survived had I not done this. However, I'm not sure it was that harmful until the end of the summer. As people took over more and more responsibility, I should have let go more control, and I am afraid I was a bit slow, I will return to this.
What we decided to do was have a different phone number for different nights of the week. It turned out that we had only four people who could volunteer a night, so we operated on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday nights. Unfortunately, again the Seed had trouble getting our numbers straight, so it was late summer before we got many calls.
What was remarkable about this summer was that people didn't feel lousy that we had gone from such a full-scale operation to doing so little. The group was small but felt really good about us. Reality, that we couldn't do much, didn't hurt.
One reason people felt good was that we were doing a lot for ourselves. The phone nights evolved into work and party nights. People would drop by the house of the phone person, and we would eat, talk, do some training, listen to music, etc. It was one of the first times that people had a chance to get to know each other. Another good vibe was another beach outing that people again enjoyed as a chance to have fun.
During the summer, representatives from Changes were working with people from a network of youth agencies in Chicago to try to get funding. We originally had begun the search for money for a coordinator and to pay for the phones, but, as the possibility of money came closer, it became more of an open question as to what we wanted the money for. Although I am not familiar with all the ins and outs of our funding game, apparently it was at times a painful process, and a great deal of wheeling and dealing went on. What finally evolved was that the Playboy Foundation agreed to fund a city-wide help switchboard (Metrohelp) which would in tum fund local switchboards and backup centers and services.
We were being considered for funding as one of the local switchboards. The money issues raised a lot of questions for us - did we want to tag ourselves as a switchboard and meet the commitments that were implied (eventual 24-hour service), did we want to take money from the Playboy Foundation at all, what did we want the money for, anyway? A lot of tension was brought into the group through suspicions about the people with whom we were negotiating. A number of people in the group were quite angry, feeling we were getting screwed, and upset, while others couldn't understand what the fuss was about.
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After quite a bit of heat, the issue was resolved. We worked out an agreement with Metrohelp that we would essentially keep doing what we had been and attempt to work toward a large phone hour commitment. People felt fairly satisfied that we wouldn't be forced to become something we weren't. After some hassling with the Blue Gargoyle coffeehouse, we worked out an agreement with them about our relationship. The anger and distrust that was directed outside the group seemed resolved.
We did not get enough money to fund a coordinator in any realistic way. In the meantime, the issue was raised again about whether we wanted a coordinator. Most of the older Changes people, including most of the original " organics, " wanted a coordinating person, while many of the new ones didn't, again raising the concern that people should do what they want to and, if we are really interested in Changes, we will all pitch in and see that it happens.
I was offered a one-half time job starting sometime in the fall with the Depot, which was a family conference center around the corner from the Blue Gargoyle. This job would offer me one day a week to " coordinate the Depot with Changes. " Thus, I would have the time to be coordinator if l was wanted. We had a big fight about both the principles and personals (unfortunately, much mushed together).
Finally, we got more together by being really open. This eventually worked out to the group offering to support me during October while I was waiting for the job and understanding that I would then be a fifth-time coordinator.
September was a slow time with a number of people gone and others working on getting us ready to move into the Blue Gargoyle. People were working on painting the room, making plans for decorating, getting the phones ordered, etc. Although we were not doing much phone business, several groups of people were working with individuals during the summer.
Looking back, the summer was really a time for regrouping. For the most part, there was relaxed coping with the current situation, lack of work, and use of the time to get to know ourselves. The ongoing intimacy vs. distance tension seemed to have been temporarily resolved toward greater tolerance of intimacy. The question of funding had made us reconsider the whole purpose of Changes and, after almost throwing the whole process up for grabs, we had opted in favor of more structure - getting a coordinator, having definite phone nights. We also said we had to have more talk about our philosophy and purposes - maybe we grabbed at the structure because it was the simplest thing. Our discussions of why we wanted a coordinator or what we wanted Changes to do usually bogged down. The one clear thing I remember was saying that we didn't want to make too many commitments about the phone because we wanted to do the backup of getting with people in person.
Note: see the next article by Jean Rickert on Year Two and the transition from phone crisis hotline to Listening/Focusing peer counseling community.
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