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Combat. Construction. Twat Mouse. Fine Magical Beast. A slave knight costs 5,000 gp to create. This does not include any costs associated with acquiring a comely female for use as the slave knight's hostage, though it does cover construction of the
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Combat
Slave knights have enough of a mind to work together in small groups, enough guile to taunt would-be heroes with their nubile captives, and enough brute strength to overcome most obstacles. A slave knight's creator can command it if the slave knight is within 60 feet and can see and hear it's creator. Construct: Immune to mind-influencing effects, poison, disease, and similar effects. Not subject to critical hits, subdual damage, energy drain, or death from massive damage.
Hostage (Ex): Each slave knight is built around a captive woman who's forearms and legs are magically held within the construct's body. Unless a specific NPC is used in the slave knight's creation, the hostage will be a Com1 with 6 hp and Cha 13. This helpless maid provides one-half cover to the slave knight (+4 AC and +2 to Reflex saves). She also provides the added benefit of preventing attacks by the more noble of adventurers, as any attack that misses the slave knight's improved AC but still hits AC 10 will strike the imprisoned woman. While a part of the slave knight, the hostage gains benefits similar to those of a ring of sustenance (see the Dungeon Master's Guide, p. 195) and is protected by the slave knight's cold resistance.
Construction
A slave knight costs 5, 000 gp to create. This does not include any costs associated with acquiring a comely female for use as the slave knight's hostage, though it does cover construction of the rest of the body, as well as materials and spell components consumed by the process. The body must be formed of the bones of a humanoid creature of at least large size, including an intact rib cage, arms, and legs, in addition to large amounts of iron and steel. The slave knight's creator can assemble the body or can hire the work out; either way, a Craft (sculpture) and a Craft (armorsmithing) check (both at DC 15) are required.
After the body's extremities and armor are prepared, and a suitable woman retained, the slave knight must be assembled and animated. This requires a full week of ritual, during which, the woman must not be ravished by anyone, else the whole animation process must be redone using another subject. Understanding the ritual requires a 9th-level character with the Craft Wondrous Item feat, and at least 8 hours per day to work. If even a single day is missed, the entire process must be begun again (all money spent is lost, though XP are not). The complete ritual drains 250 XP from the caster and requires animate dead, hold person, resist elements, and create food and water.
Twat Mouse
Fine Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 1/10 d10 (1 hp)
Initiative: +6 (Dex)
Speed: 10 ft.
AC: 24 (+8 size, +6 Dex)
Attacks: -
Damage: -
Face/Reach: Ѕ ft. by Ѕ ft. /0 ft.
Special Attacks: Maim
Special Qualities: Lubricant, arousal
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +10, Will +1
Abilities: Str 1, Dex 23, Con 10, Int 3, Wis 12, Cha 8
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Skills: Balance +10, Climb +7, Hide +22, Move Silently +10, Sexual Prowess +3 (4 tricks), Wilderness Lore +2
Feats: Lightning Reflexes
Climate/Terrain: Any land
Organization: Solitary or partnered (1 twat mouse, 1 humanoid)
Challenge Rating: 1/8
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: -
This miniature creature appears at first glance to be an unusually long, slender field mouse with a shiny coat of light brown fur. The twat mouse's fur is always slick, allowing it easy access to its favored dwelling spaces - the vaginal (and sometimes even anal) orifices of humanoid creatures.
It is within such warm, wet spaces that twat mice seek to shelter, forming a symbiotic relationship with their hosts. The humanoid provides warmth and sustenance (in the form of bodily fluids), and the twat mouse provides constant sexual arousal and protection from unwanted intrusion. Sorcerers and wizards who lean towards the erotic in their spell selections have been known to summon twat mice as familiars.
Combat
While hardly a challenge if caught in the open, a twat mouse's razor-sharp teeth provide more than enough reason for rapists not to intrude into their host.
Maim (Ex): Should the twat mouse encounter a penis intruding into its home, it immediately attacks. Within the tight confines of a vagina or anal canal, the twat mouse's teeth know no equal - the offending male provokes an attack of opportunity (bite +8 touch attack; 1) and must make a Reflex save (DC 14) or have his penis ripped to shreds.
This causes an immediate loss of 2d4 points of temporary Dexterity and reduces the victim's movement by half. The intruder's penis also loses a number of inches equal to the Dexterity loss. The loss of his penis is permanent (barring magical regeneration), but the victim's Dexterity will return at the rate of one point per day.
Lubricant (Ex): The shine of a twat mouse's coat is due to the slippery oil they produce. This lubricant allows them easy, harmless access to any bodily orifice of at least Lesser Diminutive size.
It also grants the twat mouse immunity to grappling attacks.
Arousal (Su): For the first month that a humanoid has a resident twat mouse, they are affected by a permanent arousal spell (no save allowed). After this time, they become immune to such arousal, and gains a +4 circumstance bonus to Arousal Checks. All such effects end one day after the removal of the twat mouse.
Skills: Twat mice receive a +4 racial bonus to Balance and Move Silently checks and a +8 racial bonus to Hide checks. They use their Dexterity modifier for Climb checks.
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