Thanksgiving for a Habitat. The Common Life. (for Chester Kallman)
Thanksgiving for a Habitat
Nobody I know would like to be buried with a silver cocktail-shaker, a transistor radio and a strangled daily help, or keep his word because
of a great-great-grandmother who got laid by a sacred beast. Only a press lord could have built San Simeon: no unearned income can buy us back the gait and gestures
to manage a baroque staircase, or the art of believing footmen don't hear human speech. (In adulterine castles our half-strong might hang their jackets
while mending their lethal bicycle-chains: luckily, there are not enough crags to go round. ) Still, Hetty Pegler's Tump is worth a visit, so is Sch& #246; nbrunn,
to look at someone's idea of the body that should have been his, as the flesh Mum formulated shouldn't: that whatever he does or feels in the mood for,
stock-taking, horse-play, worship, making love, he stays the same shape, disgraces a Royal I. To be over-admired is not good enough: although a fine figure
is rare in either sex, others like it have existed before. One may be a Proustian snob or a sound Jacksonian democrat, but which of us wants
to be touched inadvertently, even by his beloved? We know all about graphs and Darwin, enormous rooms no longer superhumanise, but earnest
city-planners are mistaken: a pen for a rational animal is no fitting habitat for Adam's sovereign clone. I, a transplant
from overseas, at last am dominant over three acres and a blooming conurbation of country lives, few of whom I shall ever meet, and with fewer
converse. Linnaeus recoiled from the Amphibia as a naked gruesome rabble, Arachnids give me the shudders, but fools who deface their emblem of guilt
are germane to Hitler: the race of spiders shall be allowed their webs. I should like to be to my water-brethren as a spell of fine weather: Many are stupid,
and some, maybe, are heartless, but who is not vulnerable, easy to scare, and jealous of his privacy? (I am glad the blackbird, for instance, cannot
tell if I'm talking English, German or just typewriting: that what he utters I may enjoy as an alien rigmarole. ) I ought to outlast the limber dragonflies
as the muscle-bound firs are certainly going to outlast me: I shall not end down any oesophagus, though I may succumb to a filter-passing predator,
shall, anyhow, stop eating, surrender my smidge of nitrogen to the World Fund with a drawn-out Oh (unless at the nod of some jittery commander
I be translated in a nano-second to a c. c. of poisonous nothing in a giga-death). Should conventional blunderbuss war and its routiers
invest my bailiwick, I shall of course assume the submissive posture: but men are not wolves and it probably
won't help. Territory, status,
and love, sing all the birds, are what matter: what I dared not hope or fight for is, in my fifties, mine, a toft-and-croft where I needn't, ever, be at home to
those I am not at home with, not a cradle, a magic Eden without clocks, and not a windowless grave, but a place I may go both in and out of.
The Common Life
(for Chester Kallman)
A living-room, the catholic area you (Thou, rather) and I may enter without knocking, leave without a bow, confronts each visitor with a style,
a secular faith: he compares its dogmas with his, and decides whether he would like to see more of us. (Spotless rooms where nothing's left lying about
chill me, so do cups used for ash-trays or smeared with lip-stick: the homes I warm to, though seldom wealthy, always convey a feeling of bills being promptly settled
with cheques that don't bounce. ) There's no We at an instant, only Thou and I, two regions of protestant being which nowhere overlap: a room is too small, therefore,
if its occupants cannot forget at will that they are not alone, too big if it gives them any excuse in a quarrel for raising their voices. What,
quizzing ours, would Sherlock Holmes infer? Plainly, ours is a sitting culture in a generation which prefers comfort (or is forced to prefer it)
to command, would rather incline its buttocks on a well-upholstered chair than the burly back of a slave: a quick glance at book-titles would tell him
that we belong to the clerisy and spend much on our food. But could he read what our prayers and jokes are about, what creatures frighten us most, or what names
head our roll-call of persons we would least like to go to bed with? What draws singular lives together in the first place, loneliness, lust, ambition,
or mere convenience, is obvious, why they drop or murder one another clear enough: how they create, though, a common world between them, like Bombelli's
impossible yet useful numbers, no one has yet explained. Still, they do manage to forgive impossible behavior, to endure by some miracle
conversational tics and larval habits without wincing (were you to die, I should miss yours). It's a wonder that neither has been butchered by accident,
or, as lots have, silently vanished into History's criminal noise unmourned for, but that, after twenty-four years, we should sit here in Austria
as cater-cousins, under the glassy look of a Naples Bambino, the portrayed regards of Strauss and Stravinsky, doing British cross-word puzzles,
is very odd indeed. I'm glad the builder gave our common-room small windows through which no observed outsider can observe us: every home should be a fortress,
equipped with all the very latest engines for keeping Nature at bay, versed in all ancient magic, the arts of quelling the Dark Lord and his hungry
animivorous chimaeras. (Any brute can buy a machine in a shop, but the sacred spells are secret to the kind, and if power is what we wish
they won't work. ) The ogre will come in any case: so Joyce has warned us. Howbeit, fasting or feasting, we both know this: without the Spirit we die, but life
without the Letter is in the worst of taste, and always, though truth and love can never really differ, when they seem to, the subaltern should be truth.
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