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Medical humor. The central nervous system
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MEDICAL HUMOR
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A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good. On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he was finished bathing he was to throw open all the windows and stand in the draft. " But doc, " protested the patient, " if I do that, I'll get pneumonia. " " I know, " said his physician. " I can cure pneumonia. "
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A doctor is listening to his patient’s lungs whispering, “It’s good! It’s good! It’s very good! ”
“What do you mean by saying ‘It’s very good”, replies the patient.
“It’s very good I have no disorders of this kind! ”
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You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.
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Patient: " Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heard once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus. " Doctor: " Don't worry, it won't happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia. "
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Doctor to his patient, “Those light cigarettes have given you ‘light cancer’. ”
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What is the worst thing about a lung transplant? Coughing up the other person’s sputum.
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Blue bloater - someone with COPD; particularly someone with chronic bronchitis who has trouble inhaling
THE CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM
Phonetic exercise: nervous system [‘n 
: və s ‘sistim], peripheral [pə ‘rifə rə l], nerves [‘n : vz], control [kə n’trə ul], behavior [bi’heivjə ], cranium [‘kreiniə m], spinal [‘spainə l], substances [‘sΛ bstə nsiz], neurons [‘njuə r 
nz], frontal [‘frΛ ntə l], parietal [pə ‘raiə tə l], temporal [‘tempə rə l], occipital [ k’sipitə l], cerebellum [, seri‘belə m], column [‘k lə m], balance [‘bæ lə ns], cervical [‘s : vikl; sə ‘vaikl], thorasic [θ : ’ræ sik], lumbar [‘lΛ mbə ], sacral [‘seikrl], coccygeal [k k’sid3iə l], encephalitis [, ensə fə ‘laitis], meningitis [, menin’d3aitis], stroke [str uk], transient [‘træ nziə nt], ischemic [is’ki: mik], attack [ə ‘tæ k], tumours [‘tju: mə z], polio [‘pə uliə u], paralysis [pə ‘ræ lə sis], etc.
Make a report on the central nervous system according to the plan below:
Definition: the part of the nervous system that coordinates the activity of all parts of the body.
Function: to control behaviour.
Structure: the brain and the spinal cord.
Location: the brain: in the cranium (the skull); the spinal cord: in the spinal column
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The brain: left and right cerebral hemispheres; grey and white substances; folded surface of the cerebral cortex; 50 billion –100 billion neurons; 4 lobes: functions: the frontal lobe: is responsible for thought; the parietal lobe: integration of sensory information; the occipital lobe: sense of sight; the temporal lobe: senses of smell and sound.
Weight of the brain: 1, 300 - 1, 400 g
The cerebellum: location: at the back; functions: balance and muscle coordination.
The spinal cord: the main pathway for information;
the main function: to connect the brain and peripheral nervous system;
the length: about 45 cm long in men and 43 cm long in women; 3 spinal meninges; 31 (or 25, counting the sacral as one solid piece) spinal cord nerve segments: 8 cervical segments; 12 thoracic segments; 5 lumbar segments; 1 or 5 sacral segments; 1 coccygeal segment.
The most common diseases: encephalitis or inflammation of the brain, meningitis or inflammation of the meninges, stroke or cerebrovascular accident, hemorrhagic stroke, ischemic stroke, transient ischemic attack (TIA), brain tumours, benign brain tumours, malignant brain tumours, polio or poliomyelitis, paralysis, monoplegia, hemiplegia, paraplegia, panplegia, etc.
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