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- чёткая структура - всё связано и логично; легко читается - идеи объясняются и есть примеры - отличный и разнообразный словарный запас - правильная и разнообразная грамматика (страдательный залог и 2-й тип условных предложений: if... would... ) - формальный стиль

Ниже идеальное эссе (по мнению Cambridge) на отметку 9 из 9, наслаждайтесь:

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

A problem of modern societies is the declining level of health in the general population, with conflicting views on how to tackle this worrying trend. One possible solution is to provide more sports facilities to encourage a more active lifestyle.

Advocates of this believe that todays sedentary lifestyle (WOW! Это крутое словосочетание! ) and stressful working conditions mean that physical activity is no longer part of either our work or our leisure time. If there were easy to-reach local sports centres, we would be more likely to make exercise a regular part of our lives, rather than just collapsing in front of a screen every evening. The variety of sports that could be offered would cater for all ages, levels of fitness and interests: those with painful memories of PE at school might be happier in the swimming pool than on the football pitch (А это супер слово означает футбольное поле).

However, there may be better ways of tackling this problem. Interest in sport is not universal, and additional facilities might simply attract the already fit, not those who most need them. Physical activity could be encouraged relatively cheaply, for example by installing exercise equipment in parks, as my local council has done. This has the added benefit that parents and children often use them together just for fun, which develops a positive attitude to exercise at an early age.

As well as physical activity, high tax penalties could be imposed on high-fat food products, tobacco and alcohol, as excessive consumption of any of these contributes to poor health. Even improving public transport would help: it takes longer to walk to the bus stop than to the car.

In my opinion, focusing on sports facilities is too narrow an approach and would not have the desired results. People should be encouraged not only to be more physically active but also to adopt a healthier lifestyle in general.

306 слов.

Этот шедевр конечно огромный, Вы можете написать 300 слов, если это у вас мастерски получается за 40 мин, но если напишите 250-270 - это нормально.

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Какие грамматические конструкции нужно писать в эссе?

Они выделены в этом эссе от CAMBRIDGE:

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.
Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

Traditionally, children have begun (О да! Это же present perfect! ) studying foreign languages at secondary school, but introducing them earlier is recommended (Yes, страдательный залог! ) by some educationalists. This policy has been adopted (Ого! страдательный залог в перфекте! ) by some educational authorities or individual schools, with both positive and negative outcomes. (Заметили, что предложения состоят из двух частей, которые разделены запятыми? - это, друзья, сложные предложения, необходимые для балла 6. 5 и выше)

The obvious argument in its favour is that young children pick up languages much more easily (Усиливаем наречие easily при помощи much) than teenagers. Their brains are still programmed to (Что это? Правильно, опять он, страдательный залог) acquire their mother tongue, which facilitates leaming another language, and unlike adolescents (Эффектное сравнение), they are not inhibited by self-consciousness.

The greater flexibility of the primary timetable allows for more frequent, shorter sessions and for a play-centered approach, thus maintaining learners enthusiasm and progress (Сложное предложение из нескольких частей со связкой thus). Their command of the language in later life will benefit (А вот и будущее время) from this early exposure. while leaming other languages subsequently will be easier for them. They may also gain a better understanding of other cultures.

There are, however, some disadvantages. Primary school teachers are generalists, and may not have (Модальный глагол, чтобы смягчить своё мнение и выразить его более формально) the necessary language skills themselves. lf specialists have to (Модальный глагол) be brought in to deliver these sessions, the flexibility referred to above is diminished (А тут у нас условное предложение c if - Ура! ). lf primary language leaching is not standardised, secondary schools could be (Модальный глагол, который ранее не употреблялся и опять 1ый условный тип с if) faced with a great variety of levels in different languages within their intake, resulting in a classroom experience which undoes the earlier gains. There is no advantage it enthusiastic primary pupils become demotivated as soon as they change schools. However, these issues can be addressed (Модальный глагол + страдательный залог) strategically within the policy adopted.

Anything which encourages language leaming benefits society culturally and economically, and early exposure to language learning contributes to this. Young children’s innate abilities should be harnessed (Другой модальный глагол + страдательный залог) to make these benefits more achievable.

Всё правильно без ошибок. Даже запятые верно расставлены.