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The first level of influence: Controlling your own mental and emotional states
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The first level of influence: Controlling your own mental and emotional states
It is virtually impossible to effectively influence others without the ability to enter and exit states of mind on demand.
- There are two primary ways to manage your own emotional states
- Physiological state management
- Volitional state management
Managing States via Physiology
- Understand the Mind/Body Feedback Loop.
- Every state has a corresponding physiology.
- Every physiology has a corresponding state.
- Shifting physiology will reliably change your state all the time!
- Practice shifting states by shifting physiology.
Skill building and installation:
Blind Calibration Exercise
- Individual drills:
- Choose a single state.
- Take yourself into that state and notice how your physiology shifts according to the state you’ve chosen.
- Break State.
- Pick another State and repeat.
NOTE: Practice all state control drills e using resource states that will empower your abilities to successfully apply influence both in the seminar and in the real world.
- Drills with Partner:
- Now with a partner pick a state, assume the appropriate physiology
- Partner assumes the same physiology and calibrates what emotional state is being projected.
NOTE: Choose states to play with from the following list of useful states:
- Attractiveness vs. Repulsive
- Attracted vs. Repulsed
- In Control vs. Out of Control
- Sincerity vs. Insincerity
- Trust vs. Distrust**
- Anger vs. Indifference
- Certainty vs. Uncertainty**
- Joy vs. Sadness
- Confident vs. Unconfident
- Relaxed vs. Stressed**
- Excitement vs. Boredom
- Fascination vs. Confusion
- Clarity vs. Confusion**
- Hyper Acuity vs. Contemplation**
- Authority vs. Subservience**
- Powerful vs. Powerless
- Conviction vs. Disbelief
Volitional State Management: Managing States via an Act of Will
Skill building and installation (with partner):
Polarity Exercises: Non-Blind
- Select a set of polar opposites.
- Assume gross physiology.
- Start at Zero Point.
- Amplify and vivify positive emotions.
- Calibrate how far into the state they can go.
- Partner calibrates as well.
- Return to neutral.
- Break State.
- Amplify and vivify negative emotional aspect.
- Calibrate how far into the state they can go.
- Partner also calibrates.
- Return to Neutral State.
- Break State.
- Partner gives feedback.
NOTE: Choose states to play with from the following list of useful states:
- Attractiveness VS Repulsive
- Attracted VS Repulsed
- In Control VS Out of Control
- Sincerity VS Insincerity
- Trust VS Distrust**
- Anger VS Indifference
- Certainty VS Uncertainty**
- Joy VS Sadness
- Confident VS Unconfident
- Relaxed VS Stressed**
- Excitement VS Boredom
- Fascination VS
- Clarity VS Confusion**
- Hyper Acuity VS Contemplation**
- Authority VS Subservience**
- Powerful VS Powerless
- Conviction VS Disbelief
Skill building and installation (with partner):
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Polarity Exercise: Blinded
(Empathic Influence via Transference)
- Select a set of polar opposites.
- Partner A does not inform Partner B of what states are going to be vivified.
- Assume gross physiology.
- Start at Zero Point.
- Amplify and vivify positive emotions.
- Calibrate how far into the state they can go.
- Partner calibrates as well.
- Return to neutral.
- Break State.
- Amplify and vivify negative emotional aspect.
- Calibrate how far into the state they can go.
- Partner also calibrates.
- Return to Neutral State.
- Break State.
- Partner gives feedback.
NOTE:
- Each partner does 3 sets, switching partners after each set.
- One Set equals 3 “Rounds. ”
- One “Round” = One Positive Emotion/state and One Negative Emotion/State.
Rapport through Physiology
Basic Pacing and Leading – The secret key to the persuasion universe
Pacing Defined: A Pace is simply a fact or truth and or something commonly accepted as true (truism)
Leading Defined: Leading can be anything you want your subject to believe or accept as true
- Physical Rapport Techniques:
- Matching Versus Mirroring – Important distinctions
- Matching –defined
- Mirroring- defined
- Pacing Gross Physiology
- Postural Matching and Mirroring
- Whole Body
- Half body
- Partial body
- 3-5 second rule for pacing and leading
- Gesture Hijacking
- Use their gestures when showing emphasis
- Don’t use them at the same time
- Cross over matching/mirroring
Exercise:
- Break up into groups of Three A, B, C,
- Have a three to five-minute conversation with your partner
- Person A is the persuader
- Person B is the Subject
- Person C is the Meta-person who makes sure that A and B are doing the exercise correctly
- During the conversation Person A will match or mirror as closely as possible the gross physiology of person B
- Switch with person A, being mirrored by person B
- Switch places with C so that Person C gets an opportunity to do the drill with A being the new metal person.
- Give Feedback
Awareness- the importance of Sensory Acuity and Calibration
Understanding Kinesics -Without the ability to understand and recognize the cues your subject is sending, you will find yourself severely limited in your ability to be flexible in certain persuasion scenarios.
There are many levels of Sensory Acuity this module deals with the most basic aspects of awareness first. Master those and your well on your way to becoming a master of influence.
- Noticing postural or other large frame shifts
- Look for analog movements (incongruent head nods and shakes)
- Using analog movements to subtly communicate your desired intent
- Use your physiology to match and mirror your subjects
- Eye Calibration – Understanding Visual, Auditory, and Kinesthetic Modes
- The most useful distinctions for right now are being able to discern whether a subject is accessing Visual, Auditory, or Kinesthetic, or any sequence thereof.
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- Finer Distinctions can be learned later after you have mastered the basics
- Finer distinctions are almost impossible to see and are almost never practical until you can easily detect the larger shifts and signals of your subject
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