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Orgiastic Storm. Our Tiny Brothel. Painless Birth. Pillow Talk. Planar Lover
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Orgiastic Storm
Abjuration
Level: Ecstasy 9
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: See text
Range: Personal
Effect: 500 ft. radius energy blast with a 10 ft radius sfe zone at the center
Duration: Until Married
Saving Throw: Reflex Halves
Spell Resistance: No
This spell creates an enormous, thunderous explosion masked by blinding white light centered around the caster. The caster must begin casting the spell at the beginning of an act of passion, specifically at the moment of penetration. Whether they are penetrating or being penetrated doesn't matter. Upon the moment of orgasm, the caster shouts out the final verbal component, and the spell is cast. All who are more than 10 feet and within 500 feet of the caster are affected by the resulting explosion, which can be seen from across the horizon. All those within the area of effect take 20d6 points of Force damage, save for half. Additionally, all those within 2, 500 ft. who could see the blast must make a Fortitude save or be permanently blinded.
The use of any magic aside from this spell during its casting prevents the spell from being cast. No magical means of enhancing sexual ability or inducing orgasm can be used to speed the casting time of the spell. It is by it's very nature unreliable.
Additionally, the caster takes 2d10 points of temporary Wisdom damage from the sheer pleasure of the orgasm, Will save for half.
Material Components: A pound of stardust worth 10, 000 GP, sprinkled across the bodies of the caster and his or her partner.
Our Tiny Brothel
Evocation [Force]
Level: Src/ Wiz 3
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 round
Range: touch
Area: 15 foot diameter sphere
Duration: 5 hours + 1 hour per level
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes
When this spell is cast, the caster creates an unmoving, opaque, sound-proof field of any desired color around his person. Up to 7 other man-sized creatures can fit into the field with its creator, and these can freely pass into and out of the brothel without harming it, but if the spellcaster removes himself from it, the spell dissipate.
The temperature inside the hut is a cool 60 degrees Fahrenheit, if the exterior temperature is between 0 and 100 degrees. An exterior temperature below 0 and above 100 lowers or raises, respectively, the interior temperature on a 1 degree-for-1 degree basis. The tiny brothel also provides protection against the elements, such as rain, dust, sandstorms, and the like. The hut can withstand any wind of less than hurricane force without being harmed, but wind force greater than that destroys it.
The interior of the hut is a hemisphere; the spellcaster can illuminate it dimly upon command, or extinguish the light as desired. The floor of the hut is soft and springy. Nice big cushy pillows are also in the brothel. The spellcaster can cause the brothel play soft romantic music upon command. Note that although the force field is opaque from the outside, it is transparent from within. Missiles, weapons, and most spell effects can pass through the hut without affecting it, although the occupants cannot be seen from outside the hut. The hut can be dispelled.
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The material component for this spell is a small crystal bead that shatters when the spell duration expires or the brothel is dispelled, the hair of a prostitute, and a feather (duck feathers work best).
Painless Birth
Necromancy
Level: Mdw 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 round
Range: Touch
Target: One pregnant creature
Duration: 1d4 hours
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes
Casting this spell on a pregnant subject while she is giving birth will supress the pain normally experienced during childbirth. It is usually the first spell learned by midwives who are skilled in magic.
(Note: Damage from giving birth, if any, still occurs. The victim just doesn't feel the pain until the duration runs out. )
Pillow Talk
Illusion (Glamer)
Level: Src/ Wiz 0
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 10 feet
Target: 1 pillow
Duration: 10 minutes per level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: None
When this cantrip is cast, the caster imbues the chosen pillow with an enchanted mouth. The mouthed pillow will only speak about sexual topics. The spellcaster has the option at casting time to decide the level of vargarity. The level varies from perverse smut to intellectual discussions on sexual techniques.
Planar Lover
(by Muse of Fire)
Conjuration (Calling)
Level: Clr 7
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft. /2 levels) (see text)
Target: One elemental or outsider of up to 8 HD
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes
These are just like the Planar Ally spells, wherein an extraplanar creature who serves your god/goddess/philosophy performs one task for you in exchange for a favor or the gift of a magic item. The difference is that, instead of a magic item, the planar makes love to the summoner to seal the pact.
When evil people use this spell to summon evil outsiders they may instead make an offering of rape victims equal to 1HD/level per level of creature/creatures summoned. If these victims are all both nubile (charisma 12 or better, or clearly physically attractive despite their charisma, DM's discretion) and virgins the summoned being will provide two boons, or will double the amount of time they spend on an open-ended task.
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