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Pity he had to wear those modern clothes! If he'd been dressed like Francis I 36 страница
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он был настолько серьезен) that she felt he was expressing something (что она
чувствовала, что он выражал что-то) that had burdened him for years (что
обременяло его долгие годы). She had never in his whole life (она никогда, за
всю его жизнь) heard him talk so much (не слышала, чтобы он так много
говорил).
innumerable [I'nju: m(q)rqb(q)l] vehicle ['vi: Ik(q)l] burden ['bq: dn]
You don't exist, you're only the innumerable parts you've played. I've often
wondered if there was ever a you or if you were never anything more than a
vehicle for all these other people that you've pretended to be. When I've seen you
go into an empty room I've sometimes wanted to open the door suddenly, but I've
been afraid to in case I found nobody there. "
She looked up at him quickly. She shivered, for what he said gave her an eerie
sensation. She listened to him attentively, with a certain anxiety, for he was so
serious that she felt he was expressing something that had burdened him for years.
She had never in his whole life heard him talk so much.
" D'you think I'm only sham (ты думаешь, что я всего лишь притворщица; sham
— подделка, обман, притворство, мошенничество)? "
" Not quite (не совсем). Because sham is all you are (потому, что притворщица
— это вся ты). Sham is your truth (притворство — это твоя правда). Just as
margarine is butter to people who don't know what butter is (также, как маргарин
— это масло для тех людей, которые на знают, что такое масло). "
She had a vague feeling of guilt (у нее было смутное чувство вины). The Queen
in Hamlet (/как у/ Королева из «Гамлета»): " And let me wring your heart (и
позволь растерзать твое сердце; to wring — скручивать, выжимать, мучить);
for so I shall (ибо так я бы сделал), if be made of penetrable stuff (если бы
сделано оно из доступного для проникновения материала). " Her thoughts
wandered (ее мысли блуждали).
(" I wonder if I'm too old to play Hamlet (интересно, не слишком ли я стара,
чтобы сыграть Гамлета). Siddons and Sarah Bernhardt played him (Сиддонс и
Сара Бернар сыграли его). I've got better legs than any of the men I've seen in the
part (у меня лучшие ноги, чем у любого мужчины, которого я видела в этой
роли). I'll ask Charles what he thinks (я спрошу у Чарльза, что он думает). Of
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course there's that bloody blank verse (конечно, надо учитывать: «там» этот
чертов белый стих). Stupid of him not to write it in prose (глупо с его стороны
не писать в прозе). Of course I might do it in French at the Franзaise (конечно, я
могла бы сыграть /роль/ на французском в /Комеди/ Франсез). God, what a
stunt that would be (Боже, какой бы эффектный был номер; stunt —
эффектное выступление, фигура высшего пилотажа, трюк)" )
sham [Sxm] penetrable ['penItrqb(q)l] prose [prqVz]
" D'you think I'm only sham? "
" Not quite. Because sham is all you are. Sham is your truth. Just as margarine is
butter to people who don't know what butter is. "
She had a vague feeling of guilt. The Queen in Hamlet: " And let me wring your
heart; for so I shall, if be made of penetrable stuff. " Her thoughts wandered.
(" I wonder if I'm too old to play Hamlet. Siddons and Sarah Bernhardt played him.
I've got better legs than any of the men I've seen in the part. I'll ask Charles what
he thinks. Of course there's that bloody blank verse. Stupid of him not to write it in
prose. Of course I might do it in French at the Franзaise. God, what a stunt that
would be. " )
She saw herself in a black doublet with long silk hose (она увидела себя в черном
камзоле и лосинах: «длинных шелковых штанах в обтяжку»; doublet and hose
— /ист. / мужской костюм). " Alas, poor Yorick (увы, бедный Йорик). " But she
bethought herself (но она опомнилась; to bethink (bethought) — /уст. /
призадуматься, /книжн. / вспоминать, припоминать).
" You can hardly say (ты вряд ли можешь сказать) that your father doesn't exist
(что твой отец не существует). Why, he's been playing himself for the last
twenty years (ба, да он играет самого себя последние двадцать лет). " (" Michael
could play the King (Майкл может играть Короля), not in French, of course (не
на французском, конечно), " but if we decided to have a shot at it in London (но
если мы решим попытаться в Лондоне; to have a shot at smth. — сделать
попытку, попробовать свои силы). " )
" Poor father (бедный отец), I suppose he's good at his job (я полагаю, что он
хорошо на /своей/ работе), but he's not very intelligent, is he (но он не очень-то
умен, не так ли)? He's so busy being the handsomest man in England (он так
занят тем, что бы быть самым красивым мужчиной Англии). "
" I don't think it's very nice of you (я не думаю, что очень это мило с твоей
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стороны) to speak of your father like that (говорить о своем отце в таком тоне:
«таким образом»). "
" Have I told you anything you don't know (разве я сказал тебе что-то, чего ты не
знаешь)? " he asked coolly (спросил он холодно).
Julia wanted to smile (Джулии хотелось улыбнуться), but would not allow the
look of somewhat pained dignity to leave her face (но /она/ не позволила
выражению немного оскорбленного достоинства сойти: «покинуть» с ее
лица; pained — страдальческий, обиженный).
doublet ['dAblIt] alas [q'lxs] bethought [bI'TO: t]
She saw herself in a black doublet, with long silk hose. " Alas, poor Yorick. " But
she bethought herself.
" You can hardly say that your father doesn't exist. Why, he's been playing himself
for the last twenty years. " (" Michael could play the King, not in French, of course, "
but if we decided to have a shot at it in London. " )
" Poor father, I suppose he's good at his job, but he's not very intelligent, is he? He's
so busy being the handsomest man in England. "
" I don't think it's very nice of you to speak of your father like that. "
" Have I told you anything you don't know? " he asked coolly.
Julia wanted to smile, but would not allow the look of somewhat pained dignity to
leave her face.
" It's our weakness, not our strength (наша слабости, а не наша сила), that endears
us to those who love us (внушают любовь к нам тех, кто любит нас; to endear
— заставить полюбить), " she replied (ответила она).
" In what play did you say that (в каком спектакле ты говорила это)? "
She repressed a gesture of annoyance (она удержалась от раздраженного жеста;
to repress — подавлять, обуздывать). The words had come naturally to her lips
(эти слова так естественно слетели с ее губ: «пришли к ее губам»), but as she
said them (но когда она произнесла их) she remembered that they were out of a
play (она вспомнила, что они были из какой-то пьесы). Little brute (маленький
грубиян; brute — животное, тварь; жестокий, глупый человек)! But they
came in very appositely (но они же были так уместны: «но они пришли очень
подходяще»).
" You're hard (ты жесток), " she said plaintively (сказала она жалобно). She was
beginning to feel more and more like Hamlet's mother (она начинала чувствовать
/себя/ все больше и больше матерью Гамлета). " Don't you love me (неужели
ты не любишь меня)? "
" I might if I could find you (я мог бы, если бы я мог найти тебя). But where are
you (но где ты)? If one stripped you of your exhibitionism (если бы сорвать с
тебя твой эксгибиционизм; to strip — раздевать, сдирать, лишать чего-
либо), if one took your technique away from you (если бы забрать от тебя твое
техническое мастерство), if one peeled you as one peels an onion (если бы
очистить тебя, как очищают лук; to peel — снимать кожицу, чистить
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фрукты, облезать) of skin after skin of pretence and insincerity (кожицу, за
кожицей от притворства и неискренности), of tags of old parts (от избитых
цитат из старых ролей) and shreds of faked emotions (и обрывков фальшивых
эмоций), would one come upon a soul at last (придем ли к душе в конечном
итоге)? " He looked at her with his grave sad eyes (он смотрел на нее своими
серьезными печальными глазами) and then he smiled a little (и затем слегка
улыбнулся). " I like you all right (ты мне вполне нравишься). "
" Do you believe I love you (ты веришь, что я люблю тебя)? "
" In your way (в своем: «твоем» роде). "
weakness ['wi: knIs] endear [In'dIq] apposite ['xpqzIt]
exhibitionism [" eksI'bIS(q)nIz(q)m]
" It's our weakness, not our strength, that endears us to those who love us, " she
replied.
" In what play did you say that? "
She repressed a gesture of annoyance. The words had come naturally to her lips,
but as she said them she remembered that they were out of a play. Little brute! But
they came in very appositely.
" You're hard, " she said plaintively. She was beginning to feel more and more like
Hamlet's mother. " Don't you love me? "
" I might if I could find you. But where are you? If one stripped you of your
exhibitionism, if one took your technique away from you, if one peeled you as one
peels an onion of skin after skin of pretence and insincerity, of tags of old parts and
shreds of faked emotions, would one come upon a soul at last? " He looked at her
with his grave sad eyes and then he smiled a little. " I like you all right. "
" Do you believe I love you? "
" In your way. "
Julia's face was suddenly discomposed (лицо Джулии внезапно исказилось).
" If you only knew the agony I suffered (если бы ты только знал те муки,
которые я выстрадала) when you were ill (когда ты болел)! I don't know what I
should have done if you'd died (я не знаю, чтобы я делала, если бы ты умер)! "
" You would have given a beautiful performance (ты бы дала очаровательный
спектакль: «исполнение роли») of a bereaved mother at the bier of her only child
(потерявшей ребенка матери у гроба ее единственного ребенка). "
" Not nearly such a good performance (не такое уж и хорошее исполнение; not
nearly — совсем не, далеко не) as if I'd had the opportunity (как /я бы дала/ если
бы у меня была возможность) of rehearsing it a few times (прорепетировать его
несколько раз), " Julia answered tartly (ответила Джулия колко).
" You see (видишь ли), what you don't understand is that acting isn't nature (что
ты не понимаешь, так это то, что актерская игра не природное явление); it's
art, and art is something you create (это искусство, а искусство это что-то, что
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ты создаешь /сам/). Real grief is ugly (настоящее горе безобразно); the business
of the actor is to represent it not only with truth but with beauty (работа актера
заключается в том, что бы изобразить его не только с правдой, но и с
красотой).
discomposedly [" dIskqm'pqVzIdlI] bier [bIq] create [krI'eIt] ugly ['AglI]
Julia's face was suddenly discomposed. " If you only knew the agony I suffered
when you were ill! I don't know what I should have done if you'd died! " " You
would have given a beautiful performance of a bereaved mother at the bier of her
only child. "
" Not nearly such a good performance as if I'd had the opportunity of rehearsing it a
few times, " Julia answered tartly. " You see, what you don't understand is that
acting isn't nature; it's art, and art is something you create. Real grief is ugly; the
business of the actor is to represent it not only with truth but with beauty.
If I were really dying as I've died in half a dozen plays (если бы я умирала на
самом деле, как я уже умирала в полдюжине спектаклей), d'you think I'd care
whether my gestures were graceful (неужели ты думаешь, что я бы заботилась о
том, будут ли мои жесты грациозны) and my faltering words distinct enough (и
мои запинающиеся слова достаточно членораздельны) to carry to the last row
of the gallery (чтобы донестись до последнего ряда галерки)? If it's a sham it's
no more a sham than a sonata of Beethoven's (если это притворство, то не
большее притворство, чем соната Бетховена), and I'm no more of a sham than
the pianist who plays it (и не я большая обманщица, чем тот пианист, который
играет ее). It's cruel to say that I'm not fond of you (это очень жестоко —
говорить, что я не люблю тебя). I'm devoted to you (я нежно привязана к тебе;
devoted — преданный, посвященный). You've been the only thing in my life (ты
был «единственной вещью» = самым главным в моей жизни). "
dying ['daIIN] faltering ['fO: lt(q)rIN] pianist ['pIq nIst, 'pjQ: -]|
If I were really dying as I've died in half a dozen plays, d'you think I'd care
whether my gestures were graceful and my faltering words distinct enough to carry
to the last row of the gallery? If it's a sham it's no more a sham than a sonata of
Beethoven's, and I'm no more of a sham than the pianist who plays it. It's cruel to
say that I'm not fond of you. I'm devoted to you. You've been the only thing in my
life. "
" No (нет). You were fond of me when I was a kid (ты любила меня, когда я был
ребенком) and you could have me photographed with you (и ты могла
фотографироваться со мной). It made a lovely picture (получалась прекрасная
фотография) and it was fine publicity (и это была отличная реклама). But since
then (но с тех пор) you haven't bothered much about me (ты не очень-то
волновалась/заботилась обо мне). I've bored you rather than otherwise (я скорее
надоедал тебе; otherwise — иначе, иным образом, в противном случае). You
were always glad to see me (ты всегда была рада видеть меня), but you were
thankful that I went my own way (но ты была благодарна, что я шел своей
собственной дорогой; to go one's own way — действовать самостоятельно)
and didn't want to take up your time (и тебе не хотелось занимать свое время). I
don't blame you (я не виню тебя); you hadn't got time in your life for anyone but
yourself (у тебя не было времени в твоей жизни ни на кого, кроме себя
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самой). "
Julia was beginning to grow a trifle impatient (Джулия начинала проявлять
некое нетерпение; to grow — зд. становиться, делаться: to grow impatient —
становится нетерпеливым). He was getting too near the truth for her comfort
(он подбирался слишком близко к правде, чтобы она могла сохранять покой:
«успокоение»).
" You forget that young things are rather boring (ты забываешь, что молодежь
довольно занудна). "
" Crashing, I should think (невыносимо, я так думаю; crashing —
необыкновенный, невыносимый; a crashing bore — невыносимый зануда), " he
smiled (улыбнулся он). " But then why do you pretend (тогда почему ты
делаешь вид) that you can't bear to let me out of your sight (что ты не можешь
вынести того, что я не рядом: «что я не у тебя на глазах»; out of sight — за
пределами видимости)? That's just acting too (это же тоже только актерство). "
publicity [pA'blIsItI] bother ['bODq] impatient [Im'peIS(q)nt]
" No. You were fond of me when I was a kid and you could have me photographed
with you. It made a lovely picture and it was fine publicity. But since then you
haven't bothered much about me. I've bored you rather than otherwise. You were
always glad to see me, but you were thankful that I went my own way and didn't
want to take up your time. I don't blame you; you hadn't got time in your life for
anyone but yourself. "
Julia was beginning to grow a trifle impatient. He was getting too near the truth for
her comfort.
" You forget that young things are rather boring. "
" Crashing, I should think, " he smiled. " But then why do you pretend that you can't
bear to let me out of your sight? That's just acting too. "
" You make me very unhappy (ты делаешь меня такой: «очень» несчастной).
You make me feel as if I hadn't done my duty to you (ты заставляешь меня
чувствовать, как будто я не выполнила своего долга перед тобой). "
" But you have (но ты выполнила). You've been a very good mother (ты была
очень хорошей матерью). You've done something (ты сделала нечто такое) for
which I shall always be grateful to you (за что я всегда буду тебе благодарным),
you've left me alone (ты оставила меня в покое). "
" I don't understand what you want (я не понимаю, что же ты хочешь). "
" I told you (я сказал тебе). Reality (реальности). "
" But where are you going to find it (но где же ты собираешься найти ее)? "
" I don't know (я не знаю). Perhaps it doesn't exist (возможно, она и не
существует). I'm young still (я все еще молод); I'm ignorant (я невежественен).
I thought perhaps that at Cambridge (я думал, что, возможно в Кембридже),
meeting people and reading books (встречая людей и читая книги), I might
discover where to look for it (я смог бы найти, где ее искать; to look for smth. —
искать, подыскивать, присматривать). If they say it only exists in God (если
скажут, что она единственно существует в Боге), I'm done (то я пропал; to be
done — заканчивать, завершать, покончить, разделаться). "
perhaps [pq'hxps] Cambridge ['keImbrIdZ] exist [Ig'zIst]
" You make me very unhappy. You make me feel as if I hadn't done my duty to
you. "
" But you have. You've been a very good mother. You've done something for which
I shall always be grateful to you, you've left me alone. "
" I don't understand what you want. "
" I told you. Reality. "
" But where are you going to find it? "
" I don't know. Perhaps it doesn't exist. I'm young still; I'm ignorant. I thought
perhaps that at Cambridge, meeting people and reading books, I might discover
where to look for it. If they say it only exists in God, I'm done. "
Julia was disturbed (Джулия была встревожена). What he said had not really
penetrated to her understanding (то, что он говорил, не достигло, в
действительности, ее понимания; to penetrate — проникать внутрь,
вторгаться, постигать), his words were lines (его слова были словами роли)
and the important thing was not what they meant (и важным было не то, что они
значили), but whether they " got over" (а то, «дошли» ли они /до слушателя/; to
get over = зд. to get across — четко, убедительно объяснить, изложить), but
she was sensitive to the emotion she felt in him (но она была восприимчива к
тем эмоциям, которые она чувствовала в нем). Of course he was only eighteen
(конечно же, ему было всего восемнадцать), and it would be silly to take him
too seriously (и было бы глупым воспринимать его слишком серьезно), she
couldn't help thinking (она не могла не подумать) he'd got all that from
somebody else (что он набрался: «получил» всего этого от кого-то еще), and
that there was a good deal of pose in it (и, что было достаточно много позерства
в этом). Did anyone have ideas of his own (все ли имеют свои собственные
идеи) and did anyone not pose just a wee, wee bit (и не все ли позерствуют хоть
капельку, самую капельку; wee — /шотл. / небольшое количество)? But of
course it might be (но конечно же, могло бы быть и так) that at the moment he
felt everything he said (что в тот самый момент, он чувствовал все то, что он
говорил), and it wouldn't be very nice of her to make light of it (и было бы не
очень хорошо с ее стороны не воспринимать это серьезно; to make light of
smth. — недооценивать что-либо, light — легкий, нетрудный,
легкомысленный).
seriously ['sI(q)rIqslI] somebody ['sAmbqdI] sensitive ['sensItIv]
Julia was disturbed. What he said had not really penetrated to her understanding,
his words were lines and the important thing was not what they meant, but whether
they " got over", but she was sensitive to the emotion she felt in him. Of course he
was only eighteen, and it would be silly to take him too seriously, she couldn't help
thinking he'd got all that from somebody else, and that there was a good deal of
pose in it. Did anyone have ideas of his own and did anyone not pose just a wee,
wee bit? But of course it might be that at the moment he felt everything he said,
and it wouldn't be very nice of her to make light of it.
" Of course I see what you mean (конечно же я понимаю: «вижу», что ты
имеешь в виду), " she said. " My greatest wish in the world (мое величайшее
желание в этом мире) is that you should be happy (так это чтобы ты был
счастлив). I'll manage your father (я справлюсь с твоим отцом; to manage smb
— обращаться с кем-либо, иметь к кому-либо подход), and you can do as you
like (а ты можешь поступать, как ты захочешь). You must seek your own
salvation (ты должен искать своего собственного спасения /души/), I see that
(я понимаю это). But I think you ought to make sure (но я думаю, что тебе
следует убедиться) that all these ideas of yours aren't just morbid (что все эти
твои мысли не вызваны просто меланхолией; morbid — нездоровый,
болезненно впечатлительный). Perhaps you were too much alone in Vienna
(возможно, ты был слишком долго один в Вене) and I dare say you read too
much (и, позволь мне сказать, ты читаешь слишком много). Of course your
father and I belong to a different generation (конечно же, твой отец и я
принадлежим другому поколению) and I don't suppose we can help you (и я
полагаю, что мы не сможем помочь тебе). Why don't you talk it over with
someone more of your own age (почему бы тебе не обговорить все это с кем-то
/более/ твоего /собственного/ возраста)? Tom, for instance (с Томом,
например). "
" Tom (с Томом)? A poor little snob (бедняжка, сноб). His only ambition in life is
to be a gentleman (его единственная цель в жизни — быть джентльменом), and
he hasn't the sense to see (и у него не хватает разума понять; sense — чувство,
ощущение, рассудок) that the more he tries the more hopeless it is (что чем
больше он пытается, тем это все безнадежнее). "
salvation [sxl'veIS(q)n] morbid ['mO: bId] instance ['Instqns]
" Of course I see what you mean, " she said. " My greatest wish in the world is that
you should be happy. I'll manage your father, and you can do as you like. You
must seek your own salvation, I see that. But I think you ought to make sure that
all these ideas of yours aren't just morbid. Perhaps you were too much alone in
Vienna and I dare say you read too much. Of course your father and I belong to a
different generation and I don't suppose we can help you. Why don't you talk it
over with someone more of your own age? Tom, for instance. " " Tom? A poor little
snob. His only ambition in life is to be a gentleman, and he hasn't the sense to see
that the more he tries the more hopeless it is. "
" I thought you liked him so much (я думала, что он тебе так нравится). Why, at
Taplow last summer you just lived in his pocket (ба, да в Тэплоу, прошлым
летом, вы просто не расставались: «ты просто жил в его кармане»; to live in
someone's pocket — торчать друг у друга на глазах). "
" I didn't dislike him (я не испытывал к нему неприязни). I made use of him (я
использовал его). He could tell me a lot of things that I wanted to know (он мог
рассказать мне кучу вещей, которые я хотел знать). But I thought him an
insignificant, silly little thing (но я думал, что он просто ничтожный, глупый
/паренек/). "
Julia remembered how insanely jealous she had been of their friendship (Джулия
вспомнила, как безумно ревнива была она из-за их дружбы). It made her angry
to think (она даже рассердилась, подумав; to make smb angry — разгневать
кого-либо) of all the agony she had wasted (о всех тех муках, которые она зря
вынесла; to waste — расточать, растрачивать без пользы).
" You've dropped him, haven't you (ты бросила его, не так ли)? " he asked
suddenly (спросил он внезапно).
She was startled (она вздрогнула испуганно).
" I suppose I have more or less (полагаю что да, более или менее). "
" I think it's very wise of you (я думаю, что это очень мудро с твоей стороны).
He wasn't up to your mark (он не подходил тебе: «он был не на должной:
«твоей» высоте»; mark — знак, отметка, зд. норма, стандарт, уровень). "
pocket ['pOkIt] insignificant [" InsIg'nIfIkqnt] insanely [In'seInlI]
" I thought you liked him so much. Why, at Taplow last summer you just lived in
his pocket. "
" I didn't dislike him. I made use of him. He could tell me a lot of things that I
wanted to know. But I thought him an insignificant, silly little thing. "
Julia remembered how insanely jealous she had been of their friendship. It made
her angry to think of all the agony she had wasted.
" You've dropped him, haven't you? " he asked suddenly.
She was startled.
" I suppose I have more or less. "
" I think it's very wise of you. He wasn't up to your mark. "
He looked at her with his calm, reflective eyes (он посмотрел на нее своими
спокойными, задумчивыми глазами), and on a sudden Julia had a sickening fear
(и внезапно, Джулия испытала тошнотворный страх) that he knew that Tom
had been her lover (что он знал, что Том был ее любовником). It was
impossible, she told herself (это невозможно, говорила она себе), it was only her
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