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Medical humor: medical slang. The gastrointestinal tract. Structure: the upper gastrointestinal tract and the lower gastrointestinal tract.
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MEDICAL HUMOR: MEDICAL SLANG
Blood Suckers/Leeches/Vampires - those who take blood samples, such as laboratory technicians and phlebotomists. Tough Stick - a patient whose veins are hard to find when drawing blood. Very Close Veins - varicose veins. Blue pipe –vein. Red pipe - artery (as opposed to 'blue pipe' or vein).
THE GASTROINTESTINAL TRACT
Phonetic exercise: alimentary canal [, æ li’mentə ri k 
’næ l], gut [gΛ t], digest [di’d3est], extract [iks’træ kt], expel [iks’pel], abdomen [‘æ bdə men], abdominal [æ b’d 
minl], gastrointestinal tract [, gæ strə uin’testinl ‘træ kt], lower gastrointestinal tract [‘louə , gæ strə uin’testinl ‘træ kt], mouth [mauθ ], cavity [‘kæ viti], salivary [‘sæ livə ri], mucosa [mju’kousə ], tongue [tΛ ŋ ], pharynx [‘fæ riŋ ks], esophagus [i: ’s : fə gə s], stomach [‘stΛ mə k], digestion [di’d3est∫ ə n], environment [in’vaiə rə nmə nt], secrete [si’kri: t], intestine [in’testin], duodenum [, djuo’di: nə m], jejunum [d3i’d3u: nə m], ileum [‘iliə m], caecum [‘si: kə m], colon [‘koulə n], ascending colon [ə ’sendiŋ ‘koulə n], transverse colon [‘træ nzv 
: s ‘koulə n], descending colon [di’sendiŋ ‘koulə n], sigmoid flexure [‘sigmoid ‘flek∫ ə ], rectum [‘rektə m], anus [‘einə s], approximately [ə ’proksimitli], pharyngitis [, fæ rin’d3aitis], esophagitis [i, s fə ’d3aitis], cancer [‘kæ nsə ], gastritis [gæ s’traitis], ulcer disease [‘Λ lsə ‘di’zi: z], proctitis [pr k’taitis]
Make a report on the gastrointestinal tract according to the plan below:
Definition: the GI tract, the alimentary canal or the gut.
Functions: first(ly) to take in food; second((ly), to digest food; third(ly), to extract energy and nutrients; fourth(ly), to expel the remaining waste.
Location: in the upper and lower chest, and the abdomen.
Structure: the upper gastrointestinal tract and the lower gastrointestinal tract.
The upper gastrointestinal tract:
the mouth (the cavity; the salivary glands, mucosa, the teeth and the tongue), the pharynx, the esophagus, and the stomach.
The stomach: a bean-shaped hollow muscular organ; is involved in the second phase of digestion; has a highly acidic environment; produces and secretes about 2 to 3 liters of gastric acid per day.
The lower gastrointestinal tract: first(ly), the small intestine and second(ly), the large intestine.
The small intestine: the duodenum, the jejunum, the ileum
The large intestine: the caecum, the colon (ascending colon, transverse colon, descending colon and sigmoid colon), the rectum, and the anus.
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Length: approximately 7. 5 meters (25 feet).
The most common diseases: esophagitis, esophagus cancer, gastritis, peptic ulcer disease (PUD), stomach perforation, stomach cancer, gastroenteritis, enteritis, duodenitis, colitis, colon cancer, proctitis, rectum cancer.
GASTRITIS
Phonetic exercise: stomach [stΛ mə k], digestion [di’d3est∫ ə n], gastritis [gæ s’traitis], ulcer disease [‘Λ lsə ‘di’zi: z], proctitis [pr k’taitis], Helicobacter pylori [, hɛ lɨ kə ’bæ ktə r pɪ ˈ lɔ raɪ ], consumption [kə n’sΛ mp∫ n], steroid [‘ster id], severe [si‘viə ], traumatic [tr : ’mæ tik], bacteria [bæ k’tiə riə ], autoimmune [, : t 
im’ju: n], appetite [‘æ pitait], nausea [‘n : siə ], abdomen [‘æ bdə men], abdominal [æ b’d minl], pancreas [‘pæ ŋ kriə s; ‘pæ ŋ kriæ s; ‘pæ nkriə s], bile [bail], reflux [‘ri: flΛ ks], antacids [, æ n’tæ sid], antibiotic [, æ ntibai’ tik]
Make a report on gastritis according to the plan below:
Definition: an inflammation of the lining of the stomach.
Causes: excessive alcohol consumption, prolonged use of nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs such as aspirin or ibuprofen, major surgery, traumatic injury, burns, severe infections, weight loss surgery resulting in infection with bacteria, primarily Helicobacter pylori, certain diseases, such as chronic bile reflux, stress and certain autoimmune disorders.
Symptoms, signs, clinical manifestations, clinical features: upper central abdominal pain, dull pain, vague pain, burning pain, sharp pain; other signs and symptoms: nausea, clear, green or yellow, blood-streaked, or completely bloody vomiting, bloating, feeling full after only a few bites of food, loss of appetite, unexplained weight loss, etc.
Evaluation:
History: a personal medical history or a previous history, a history of the present illness, a history of presenting complaint, a childhood illness history, a past medical history, a family history, a pregnancy history, a medication or drug history, an occupational history, a social history, a surgical history, an environmental history, a diet history, etc.
Physical evaluation: observation, percussion, palpation, and auscultation.
Instrumental examination: blood tests: blood cell count, tests for presence of H. pylori, pregnancy, liver, kidney, gallbladder, or pancreas functions; urinalysis, stool sample to look for blood in the stool; X-rays, ECGs, endoscopy to check for stomach lining inflammation and mucous erosion, stomach biopsy to test for gastritis and other conditions.
Treatment: over-the-counter antacids in liquid or tablet for mild gastritis; antibiotics, proton pump inhibitors, cytoprotective agents, bismuth subsalicylate, etc.
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